Humbug

Well, I guess this is the post in which I should say, "Merry Christmas to all," but many of you who know me know that at this time of year I have more in common with Ebenezer Scrooge than Bob Cratchit. For about a decade my "spirit of Christmas" has been in gradual decline to the present day where I find myself shuddering at another rendition of "Silver Bells," and scratching my head about what trees and cookies and mass consumerism have to do with Jesus. I love Jesus, but I find Him especially hard to focus on amidst the onslaught of this cultural thing we call the Christmas Season.
Yes, we have a tree, and yes, there are presents under it. I even checked out a Christmas carol songbook for my son, who is hearing these songs for the first time and LOVES them. (I've never sung The Friendly Beasts and We Three Kings so many times...and liked it--gasp!) C also wants to read the story about "the baby in the hay box" over and over in his Children's Bible. So, I'm learning to experience Christmas through the unjaded experience of my child, and I must admit, it's refreshing.
Now, at our house, Santa will never be more than a nice pretend story people tell at Christmas. The coming of God in the person of Jesus is the story that's "so good it has to be true," to paraphrase George MacDonald. Will I ever find a connection between this grand story and stockings and ornaments? Maybe not. In fact, when our kids are old enough to understand, don't be surprised if we give up gifts altogether one year.
On that note, Merry Christmas to all.

Three years ago today...

At 3:49pm on December 2nd, 2004, what were you doing? I was giving birth to my firstborn after 19 hours of labor including 3 1/2 hours of pushing. Was he worth it? Every minute. He is such a creative burst of God's love and genius, I can't imagine making him up myself. He teaches me so much and brings incredible amazement and laughter into my life.

Here are some things recently heard at our house:

"Mommy is going to burn something for dinner tonight."

"Planet is like Knitting. See: Plan-NIT and NIT-ing."

"Cua-ta-doh" (C's attempt to say the word for 4 in Spanish (cuatro) and roll his R's--he doesn't say his R's anyway!)

"The plants' situation is that they are growing." (after my explanation of the word "situation" to him)

"When you get bigger, your penis will get bigger, too." ("you" is how he refers to himself)

"The end of your tummy is hurting, right there." (pointing to his abdomen when he had an upset stomach)

Happy Birthday to my little boy. Your life, your thoughts, your words are a wonder to me.

Twins?

Okay, many of you have commented that T looks a lot like C at the same age. Let's see if you can tell them apart.

Which one is C and which one is T? Well, I guess it's not too hard to tell if you know a few things about our sons, but the similarities are striking, are they not?

Time will tell how similar their personalities are. So far, T has some of the same characteristics as C at 3 months (easily overstimulated by social interaction, prefers to be held to sleep, prolonged eye contact, constantly alert, good eater, early stranger anxiety), but T seems more gregarious--he's constantly cooing and laughs more readily.

Well, that's all for now.

Punkins galore

Our trip to the pumpkin patch.

Here are some Halloween pics. No costumes for us, but C really loved putting candy in people's bags when they came to our door. 'Tis more blessed to give, after all!







Here are our jack-o-lanterns. The one on the left is a fan, since C is a "fan of fans." M came home and took one look at it and said, "It looks like a swastika." I was horrified, but after everyone disagreed, I allowed him to put it on our porch.

C was playing with some pumpkin decorating stickers his Grandma sent him, and he turned into a suave, mistachioed man!

And our youngest punkin with a wry little smirk of his own.

Family time on Maplewood

Here's C feeding his "baby" using the Boppy pillow like Mommy does with T. I've also seen C lift up his shirt and try to put one of my nursing pads on his chest!



A kiss for brother. C loves to play with words, so his latest name for his brother is "Badey Papper," which rhymes with Baby Thatcher. My son, the wordsmith!

C on a recent visit to a local farm. We arrived too late for the hayride, but C loved to climb on the tractor and the hay-filled trailer.

My big littlest man. He's 2 months and 15 pounds--what a chunk! He's already wearing 6 months clothes.

My three men. Note their Hartman chins.

That's all for now. Enjoy the photos, friends.

Sometimes a light surprises

Well, I feel bad saying that a day away from my toddler is a great one, but today it was true. Grandma and Grandpa took C for the day, and they had a blast at the library, grocery store and their house. He even napped (with Grandpa!) which made his mood upon returning home much more pleasant.
T and I walked to church for the first Mothers Together group--I loved it. Just a bunch of women sharing the struggles and joys of life and trying to know God in the midst of it. I am really looking forward to Thursday mornings now. After Mothers Together, we walked home and I put T down for a nap, ate lunch (by myself--oh bliss!) and took some time to pray, read the Bible and write in my journal. With a short break to eat and settle down again, T napped for most of the afternoon, so I took a nap myself, cleaned the kitchen and bathroom, started a load of laundry and called a couple of friends.
My parents brought C home and brought dinner with them, and then I had time to play with C a little bit before bedtime. Wow--what a peaceful way to spend a day. I feel so refreshed and grateful. It reminds me of this hymn I like:

Sometimes the light surprises

The Christian while (s)he sings.

It is the Lord who rises

With healing in his wings.

When comforts are declining

He grants the soul again

A season of clear shining

To cheer it after rain.

May all who read these words experience the peace that comes from the nearness of God.

Just hangin' out on the floor

This is what C calls "bwother wuv." He loves to snuggle with T on the floor.

This video cracks me up (sorry it's so dim). Anyone who's ever parented a toddler can understand.

Hippo birdie two ewe

We celebrated M's birthday tonight, two days late due to a bout with the stomach flu that hit our house on his actual birthday. What a bummer--the poor guy was pleading for mercy on the cold bathroom floor the night before his 32nd birthday. C had it, too, and I've never seen him request a nap before, or fall asleep on the couch, for that matter. Baby T and I remain untouched by the dreaded virus, protected in our own little mother-infant bubble.

So, tonight's party was a celebration of life and health. We had sushi (take-out, of course), and I did manage to make a cake for M. C had fun putting the candles on the cake and watching me light them. No sooner did we stop singing "Happy Birthday" did C claim the first piece of cake. No sir, my dear son...this is not about you. This is about your daddy, and he will get the first piece. It feels good to be able to say that to my self-absorbed two-year-old and wonder how much of that he gets. I'm sure God feels like that all the time with me: Does she really understand that it is not about her at all? Probably not. Maybe someday I'll get it...

Anyway, happy birthday to the amazing man who shares my home and life and children with me. I pray for lots more candles on our cakes together.

"Help, please!"

Whew! Has it really been two weeks since I last posted? Well, now that we have a new addition in our home, I can post more often. No, I'm not talking about our baby...we just got a new computer. You must understand, our former computer (a casualty of a particularly spasmodic electrical storm) was a 1999 Quantex, may she rest in peace. The company doesn't even exist anymore, but that baby was still going strong. I guess her time had come (sigh).

On to more interesting topics: Anne Lamott. I'm reading her book Operating Instructions in which she kept a daily journal of her son's first year (Thanks for the gift, Jim and Christine!). I'd never read Anne Lamott before, so I wasn't prepared for how edgy and vulnerable her writing is, but I really appreciate her openness about her need for community and support in raising her son. Even though I am not a single mom or a recovering alcoholic, I really resonate with her neediness, and I am learning from Anne to ask for help often. Application: I called my parents this week and asked them to pick up some groceries for us, since I am not yet up to the task of shopping with both boys in tow. I guess it's about time for me to practice what I preach: we're constantly coaching C to say "Help, please" instead of getting frustrated to the point of whining, throwing something or having a tantrum. Here's to a tantrum-free week for Mommy, too.

Family photos

Here is my beautiful new offspring. I think I'm in love again...

Napping on the front porch.

My three men, together at last.

In Need

Okay, I'm back. I didn't fall off the face of the earth...I just had a baby. T is doing great, it's just the rest of us that are trying to keep our heads on straight.
Big brother C has gone from ignoring T, to being fascinated with his fuzzy head, to touching that fuzzy head a little too firmly, to hitting his own head in deferred rage. Now he openly declares that he wants to hit Baby T, yet thankfully he holds himself back (for now). Well, at least we're talking about it. Not to mention hitting, screaming, throwing tantrums and peeing on the floor.
Thank God for my mother who has spent every day of the last 2 weeks at our house helping us manage all of this chaos. My dad has also chipped in to play with C and take him out for hardware store therapy. Our church has begun the meal parade, and it is amazing to eat the lovingly prepared dinners from people that we know and don't know. So God has really provided people to help us in our neediness.
I feel no shame in being needy. We're all needy, and it feels good just to admit it. It also feels more real when I reach out to help someone else, because I am familiar with need. I don't deceive myself: my needs are paltry compared with those of many in this world. But I do feel desperate at times and at the end of my own resources. Prayer has not been as much of a problem for me now as it has in the past (like when my first child was born, as some of my friends might remember). Asking God for his strength is like breathing now. And while I am longing for C's emotional equilibrium, I hope I remain in this place of awareness of my need.

A couple of photos

We are now home from the hospital and here are a few photos of T. Note his cleft chin! Unfortunately we have no photos of C and T together, because C will not go within three feet of his new brother.

Blogjacking and H2O breaking

Due to Leslie's current state (resting and nursing)--I am posting this one from the hospital where our son T- was born just after noon today! He was 8 pounds, 4 oz, and 19.75 inches long. Her water broke last night around midnight and labor was tough but brief (she doesn't agree with the brief part but compared to the 19 hours last time this was short). Pictures forthcoming!

Corrections: the latest latest

Okay, my previous post is already outdated!
As for this long and lean baby, the midwife told me yesterday that, yes, she thinks he's long, but he may also be large. Great--and growing bigger every day, too, I'm sure. Well, he's strong and vigorous, of that I'm certain. So I hope he'll kick his way out and I won't have to do all the work!
Secondly, I'm now reading Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, but hope to replace it tomorrow with Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (the latest) when I borrow it from a friend. If you've read it, don't tell me a single thing--I'm determined to have a fresh perspective on it.
Third, I was inspired by a conversation I had with a fellow knitter in the waiting room of my midwife's office, so I went out and bought the yarn for my next knitting project. Yep, it's the baby cargo pants but I'm not able to start on them because our home computer is probably on it's last leg. Yet another expense for 2007...arghh!
Okay, I'll post pics of my knitting (oh, and my baby, too!) when I get further!

The latest

I am poised on this precipice before the giant roller coaster drops and we take our wild ride of parenting two kids. I am trying to savor the special moments with C as well as the feeling of T moving around in my belly. (For those of you who don't know, we have named our unborn son, but you'll have to call or email me if you are too curious to wait for the birth announcement!) T is a real kicker. The midwife says he's long, and I can attest to that feeling: simultaneous not-so-gentle pokes on my rib cage and my pelvis. Since all of M's family are short, he must get the length from my side. For purposes of delivery, I'm hoping for long and lean, like a swimmer just sliding gracefully down a chute. Well, I can dream, can't I?

On the toilet front, C is such a star! While he still dances around waving his hands trying to hold it in sometimes (rather than go right to the pot), he is pretty much potty trained during waking hours. He might need a reminder or a social reason to go (as in, "I'm going to go to the toilet...do you want to come, too?") but he usually makes it in time--amazing! M and I are so impressed with and grateful for his learning, and it has really helped with any power issues to not have to make him sit on the toilet anymore.

I am doing my best not to talk only about my child(ren) in this blog, because I do have other parts of my life, but as some of you know, parenting is an all-consuming profession. Let's see if I can think of any other tidbits going on right now...
Reading: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (to refresh my memory for the new one)
Listening to: our Harry Connick, Jr. station on Pandora.com (if you haven't discovered this make-your-own radio station website, you must)
Knitting: Nothing! Can you believe it? Well, unless you count that short-sleeved lavender sweater that I've been picking away at for ages. I am also considering a pair of baby cargo pants for T (3-6 months size) that I saw on Knitty.com. I love that site.
Getting to know: a kind, wonderful friend at church who takes C and I to her country club pool; our next door neighbors whom we just had over for dinner and they stayed until 10pm (late for us!)
Cooking: gazpacho with tomatoes from my favorite farmer at the 17th Street Farmer's Market
Planning: our backyard, currently a dirt plot but destined to be a tranquil oasis with flowers, vegetables, a deck, patio, fence and trellised gateway (Coming: Spring 2008)
Nagging my husband about: staining and finishing some shelves for C's playroom that we bought months ago (I did the sanding myself, but he doesn't want me breathing in toxins from the stain and polyurethane)
Thanking God for: my parents' recent move here and all the help they've been and love they've shown us

Whew, I guess I had more to say than I thought. Thanks again for reading!

Down the toilet...and back again.

Every new stage of child development brings a new level of awareness of my sin (call it what you will: shortcomings, fallenness, faults, whatever) and my need for grace and transformation. This time, it's potty training. I want to be in control, and I can't. I want to see results now, on my time frame, and I don't. I determine in my mind to be the relaxed, peaceful, open-minded parent...and I melt into tears of frustration and anger by noon that day.
We went into official toilet training mode last Tuesday, and it has been quite a (sometimes wet and messy) ride. I'll spare you all the childish bathroom talk and sordid details, but I will say that on day one, C went through all 7 pairs of underwear we bought him. Today, he marched into the bathroom, said "Need to use the toilet," and proceeded to do just that. Now, I am far from thinking he has arrived, but at least I know he is learning.
And I'm learning, too. I'm learning more and more that my son has only so much energy for change and transition, and when that is used up by one major thing (like learning to put his waste products in a different spot), he has very little energy to give to other transitions (like changing placemats or reading books with Daddy instead of Mommy). I'm learning that I can give over to God my need to control C's bowel and bladder activity and just let him learn from mistakes and successes as God would guide us. I'm learning that pee and poop on the floor aren't such a big deal, and that clothes are easy to wash. I'm learning that my son can hold it in for a LONG time--or maybe I'm just jealous because in my current state I visit the bathroom every 30 minutes!
So, that's the latest installment in the drama of our tiny little lives. Thanks for reading...and if you know anything about potty training, I'm still hungry for suggestions!

I'll close with a picture that reminds me of C's joy and love of life.

Belly and the beach

Some of you have requested pictures, so I'll try my inaugural use of Blogger's "add image" feature.

Here's my son at the beach on a recent trip to the New Jersey shore. He is so curious about his world, and I am amazed at the minute details he observes and remembers. What a treasure he is!

My two boys.

Me and my third boy, coming as sure as the tide.

What a wild ride we're in for, C!

Okay, now that I have that figured out, there will be more to come!

One decade

That's approximately 3,650 days, maybe a couple more for leap years. This weekend, M and I celebrated 10 years of marriage. Yes, we were pretty young (by today's standards) when we married: 21 and 22. But I wouldn't have waited another day. He's the best, and I can't imagine a better husband, father, companion and friend.
We are not by nature gift-givers (lucky it's true for both of us or one of us would always be disappointed!), so we celebrated by taking a 24-hour trip to Charlottesville. We left C with Grandma and Grandpa, and we stayed overnight at this lovely inn called the Inn at Court Square. We reserved the cheapest room, but because they were pretty empty this weekend, they upgraded us to a room that cost $100 more! Then, they gave us a complimentary glasses of wine and strawberry lemonade. I found a jacuzzi tub and bathrobes in the bathroom and helped myself to both before we went to dinner at the C&O restaurant.
After sleeping in till 7 (that's luxurious for us!), praying together, and having the best breakfast of our ten years of marriage, we shopped downtown Charlottesville and the farmer's market and then headed for the University of Virginia, which has the most beautiful campus we've ever seen. In one of the gardens off the main lawn, M found a plum tree and sampled one of the ripe plums. Well, I took a bite and squirted brown plum juice all over my white-shirted pregnant belly! (As those of you who have been pregnant know, a belly with child is a spill magnet.)

After laughing uproariously I realized how disgusting I looked, so I arranged my purse over my middle and found a bathroom in the Rotunda and made M go to the car and get me another shirt. We finished our anniversary getaway with a drive through winding country roads, lunch in a small town and ice cream.
Upon our arrival, my parents said they'd had a great time with C (of course, he is always Angel Boy for other people!)--pizza for dinner, lego creations, silly tickling games and a trip to the hardware store. Sounds like our son's dream weekend. Ours was a dream, too.
Happy anniversary to my brilliant, merciful, science-brained, relational, Cubs-obsessed, constantly-snacking, God-seeking husband. Truly one of life's undeserved gifts from God.

Welcome to our World

Prompted by some mild peer pressure and the desire to keep long-distance friends updated, I have started this blog. With some trepidation, I might add. I am afraid I will start and then fail to post regularly enough for my avid blogging friends. I am also reluctant to post my random and uninspired thoughts "in print" (I still have a weird reverence for print, as if it should be closer to perfection than other media). Nevertheless, here it is.
I have called my blog Maplewood, because it's where I live. Within the last 2 months, my family (one husband, one 2-and-a-half year old son, and one 8-month-old fetus due August 11th) and I moved to our permanent home on Maplewood Avenue in Richmond, Virginia. Our "settlement process" is still in progress, with many unfinished tasks still on the list, and some things we have no idea how to do. Sounds a lot like my life. But here it is. So, I hope this blog will resemble the real stuff of my life, lovely and messy, filled by God's spirit while being in great need for more. Okay, I'll stop typing now. That's it for today.